February 19
The Savior Turned Lion and Destroyer
“For the great day of . . . wrath has come, who can stand?”
Revelation 6:17.
Now, the most free and full and gracious words of the gospel were the greatest torment to me. Nothing so afflicted me as the thoughts of Jesus Christ, the remembrance of a Savior. because I had cast him off! It brought forth the villainy of my sin and my loss of salvation to [my] mind. For nothing did twinge my conscience like this. Every time I thought of the Lord Jesus: of his grace, love, goodness, kindness, gentleness, meekness, death, blood, promises and blessed exhortations, comforts, and consolations; they all went to my soul like a sword. All these considerations of the Lord Jesus, these thoughts would make place for themselves in my heart. Yes, this is the Jesus, the loving Savior, the Son of God, whom thou hast parted with, whom you slighted, despised, and abused! This is the only Savior, the only Redeemer, the only one that could so love sinners as to wash them from their sins in his own most precious blood. But you have no part nor lot in this Jesus, you have put him from you, you have said [such] in your heart. Let him go if he will.
Now, therefore, you are severed from him; you have severed yourself from him. Behold, his goodness; but you are no partaker of it. Oh, I thought, what have I lost! What have I parted with! What have I disinherited my poor soul of! Oh! it is sad to be destroyed by the grace and mercy of God; to have the Lamb, the Savior, turn lion and destroyer (Rev 6).
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